September 11 :: "Good Lord..."

I know I have an assignment coming up which involves making my first post to my blog. So I guess this will double as something I need to get off my chest, and that assignment.

As I was sitting in my living room by myself watching C-Span 3's replay of video about 9/11/2001, I was absolutely decimated with emotions of phenomenal proportion. For the first time since that day, I was able to sit down and watch someone recap every single move the emergency workers made. They actually had video from one of the groups inside the north tower when the south tower fell. The last thing on their mind was that the other tower had just collapsed, but all this dust and debris flew into the north tower where they were (lower concourse). Everything went completely black and they figured a bomb went off and they needed to regroup and expedite the evacuation. I just sat in astonishment on what these men and women went through trying to save as many people as possible. It was said that over 4,000 off-duty emergency workers (this includes firefighters, first responders, emts, police officers, etc.) joined the effort to save as many people as possible. Humanity at its best.

I watched all 3 hours of the live CNN coverage online that aired on 9/11/2001. It was incredible to hear what the news reporters were saying. They were so careful before they confirmed any reports, and almost immediately I began to realize a few things. Today, we actually can comprehend an attack like that. I guess that is because we have seen it, and understand what happened even though most of us still don't understand why. But on that day, people had no idea those towers would collapse, or that another plane would hit the second tower, or that another plane would hit the pentagon, or that yet another would crash in Pennsylvania. After the first plane hit, they were speculating whether or not it could be an electronic failure in the plane's computer systems. Even after the second plane hit the other tower, they were slow to come up with foul play. It wasn't until President Bush made his first address about the incident before boarding Air Force One bound for Washington D.C., that the act was classified as terrorism. You heard sirens from every which way back in New York. It was also stated that over 1/3 of the entire NYC emergency resources were activated for the rescue operation. They signalled for a 3rd 5th alarm which calls a huge addition of people to the scene.

I realized quite a few things about myself as well during this time. I can tell you it was a Tuesday, I was in Calculus class(4th period), we just stopped what we were doing and our teacher turned on the TV. When I saw the buildings smoking, I was in shock, but didn't feel much. When the first one fell, I swore this was now a movie I was watching - like a bad sequel to Independence Day. But, from watching the coverage from start to finish and really allowing myself to think and not run away, I realized how disturbed I am. I remember the absolute emotional pain - so deep it became phsysical pain - that I could see in my friends faces at church that evening who had just lost loved ones in the towers. To make things worse, they couldn't even be sure they were dead at that point because so many people were still just missing.

I'm hurt, I'm upset, I find myself in prayer for all of those families again this year. I'm fascinated with how everyone reacted that day, and the pure goodness of humanity that was proved to still exist that day. My deepest expression of gratitude goes out to everyone who put their lives on the ultimate line to save those 25,000 that were saved, and to tirelessly try to save those remaining.

Most of all, however, I'm angry. I'm absolutely livid. Listening to Bush - a person and president I once admired - speak to the nation that night, I stood right with him, all the way. He wanted everything we did, to see those responsbile brought to justice, and he spoke so well. He made me feel like things really were going to work out somehow. And I look back, and the only thing I feel now is extreme disappointment and anger. To say the least he should be ashamed of what he has done to us and this country in that regard. And the democratic party should be even more ashamed that they couldn't put up a candidate who could beat Bush out - it's not like it would take much! Nevertheless, 5 years later, Bin Laden is loose, still releasing videos while GW is chasing a damn ghost! I mean what the hell?! When is enough, enough for him? I'm tired of seeing my friends have to go overseas to fight a war they don't understand based on the pure lies spilling out of GW's mouth. First, we are to believe there are weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. I admit, I was all for taking out Saddam based on the information we were allowed to know. I am now so ashamed of the position I took when the whole crisis started, I can't even begin to explain it. The president in his piss poor, ass-backwards judgement, he gives the United Nations the finger and tells them where to get off. Later, we learn there are no weapons of mass destruction, and just recently we confirm that Saddam had nothing to do with 9/11/2001. Well, gee, that's just wonderful. Now we can put this all behind us, right? Yeah - lest we forget how many brave service men and women gave their lives over there and those who are still over there. Now since we've removed their pre-existing government, we have to stay there and create mini-America in Iraq. Maybe those people will be happier, maybe they won't - but WHY was that our decision to make? It's like China invading our country and saying to the Chinese people that they are doing the morally right thing by creating a new Communist United States. (Yes, I know it's completely unrealistic but you should understand the point). But thanks to circus Bush created in Iraq, our military is almost non-existent because we are relying on reserves. God forbid we have another terrorist attack, because there will be no one left in the U.S. to serve as the national guard. Our resources are just spread to thin. I'm not ignorant either however. I understand the terrain in Afghanistan is incredibly tricky and I know the task of finding Bin Laden is extremely hard. However, I also believe that if Bush would have committed the resources of the country that were entrusted to him by the people who elected him, and by Congress on September 12, 2001 to finding the real culprit - Bin Laden - we would certainly have a better chance of finding him by now.

We don't even have to comment on Hurricane Katrina - the ONLY reason they are even at the point of recovery they are at (which is pathetic given it's now been over a year) is because of the tens of thousands upon tens of thousands of volunteers who swarmed New Orleans and Mississippi to help give those people a better chance at piecing their lives back together. Those victims deserve better than that.

Those who died on September 11, 2001 deserve better than that. Their families deserve justice to be served, not a free-for-all created by the most powerful man in the land who has turned out to be so full of shit that his eyes should be brown and his hair certainly not gray.

But no matter how much I despise Bush and what he's done, I will take his side when it comes to these extreme liberals. How drunk or high was the poor mental-case who came up with the conspiracy theory? Are you kidding me? To hell with that theory. That is hands down the most ridiculous, unfounded, baseless, and biggest truck load of horse shit I have ever had the misfortune of hearing. To even suggest that any political leader - even one as awful as Bush - would not act on any intelligence that would credibly reveal a threat of that nature is pure stupidity. You can be liberal and protest for anything you want, and I support your freedom to do so. But no one is perfect, our government is no exception, though they are far better as piecing together intelligence puzzles than we are. Bush may have royally screwed up the Iraq intelligence - as a matter of fact he probably wrote it himself - but NO one EVER ignored any credible threat like that - EVER. It's a horrible tragedy of a scale we will hopefully never see again. Bush created Homeland Security from no pre-existing guidelines for structure. Giving him credit where it's due, that was a great idea. Lately, we make fun of airline security in stand-up comedy, but we are a good deal safer than we were before 9/11. So give it up.

I guess I represent the silent-angry American. I'm sure I'm not the only one. Maybe I am, and I guess that's ok. But, I have been running from these feelings for a long time for fear of judgement, so I guess now is a better time than ever. I don't claim to be an expert on political issues, but I'm literate, I'm smart, and know how to process information with a decently rational realm of thought. I try to see things from all points of view, but I'm not perfect nor will I ever claim to be. Everytime I think of the loss that people all over the world experienced that day, especially those families here in the U.S., all I can do is pray. And I ask the same of everyone who is able.

This is the first of many...

This is the first post of what hopefully will be many, the crazy narratives I like to call my life. Don't worry, my pet peeves are hearing about what kind of soap people used in their shower this morning. Hopefully it will be fun, insightful, and help create a new communication network. Stick around...